Number 1 -
I used to think I had the ugliest nose on Earth. It was huge and potato- like, with large pores and it always seems to stand out whenever I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror in public.
My lips, I thought, were horridly baby-like, and dark. My skin, dark and dry after years of tennis training in the sun. You could find hundreds of bite scars too.
My physique, even with all the tennis training, was weak, I had low stamina and I was bone-skinny. I couldn't run past half a mile without heaving, and my racket swings were far from powerful. Even after years of tennis, I still struggle at fitness.
My hair, was ever a mop of mess. I used to wear it loose at school, it went as far as my chin, never more. I never liked tying it up even though teachers kept pestering me about it because I thought it made me look even more ugly.
My eyes, back then, were hidden behind glasses, and everytime I glance at a mirror in public , my eyes never seem to shine as I thought they do when I'm in my bathroom. And for that, I always avoided public mirrors, so I wouldn't have to see how plain and indifferent I look.
My ass was darker than the rest of my body and so I thought I could never be one of the girls you see in tumblr pictures where they wear bikinis and look sexy in shirts and underwear.
It took awhile but I am now no longer insecure about my nose, my lips, my skin, my hair, my ass. My legs aren't perfect but I like showing them off in skirts and heels. You could call me vain, but I like tying my hair up and still be able to think that I look pretty even with my hair tied up if I were to just feel pretty without or with my hair up. I believe that if you feel pretty, you'll look pretty, nevertheless. I would like to, someday, wear a two piece bikini and feel gorgeous as I do when I wear t-shirt and jeans or skirts and heels too. I have dark elbows, but I'm not going to be insecure about such a little thing when I have lovely brown eyes, and, well, okay boobs, and all my other beautiful features. I suppose I'll gradually find a way to make my elbows prettier due time. My nose isn't all that ugly. I mean, when I look at my face, I see beautiful eyes and smiling lips, I would like to think that a slightly potato nose wouldn't overshadow them. Just because I don't look pretty enough in some photos and in some poses doesn't mean I'm not pretty.
There's still a few other things though, for instance, eye bags. But I suppose I'll handle it due time.
Number 2 -
I wish to set myself straight. I do not value virginity as much as society wishes me to, and I do not feel of less worth because of it.
Number 3 -
I have never been on a date and I secretly so very much would like to.
Though now it's not really much of a secret is it?
Number 4 -
I, again wish to set myself straight. I like heels. Stop masking ( or something ) it with a stereotype. My heels aren't uncomfortable. I can walk for hours in them and feel the same pain I feel if I were to have walked with sneakers on. Of course, I wouldn't wear them to go shopping at Vietnam with my aunt, but I do wear them on short trips to go buy food or drive thru Mcdonalds because I can just slip them on compared to my pretty tennis shoes because I don't have decent sandals. My RM25 sandals are effing uncomfortable and I feel horridly ugly in them. ( Take note that uncomfortable and ugly are different things and I don't say that my heels are comfortable just because they're sexy. They're actually comfortable, as far as shoes go. ) ( Also take note that I say my heels because, well, my sister's heels were less comfortable when I tried them.) Also, I know I need to buy some Ipanemas ( read : comfortable and pretty sandals ) but they cost RM60 and, well, money.
( Admittedly, I spend a lot of money on food and paper )
Also, I don't get why age matters in the wearing of heels. I'm 16 and I wear heels because I like to. You could be 27 and not like to wear heels and I wouldn't give a damn.
Number 5 -
I criticize and condescend by nature and I know that it's bad. I don't think I'll be changing that aspect of myself though, however, I will try to apply restraint and not hurt people's feelings to deeply and perhaps try to keep my horrid thoughts to myself.
Number 6 -
I am emotionally unstable and may go raving on emo ( for lack of proper vocabulary, an imcompetent fault on my side ) phrases and go all dark, and, well, weird like. I am sorry if that degrades me of value in your opinion, but, frankly, I don't know what to do about it. I just hope it doesn't completely degrade me and that you may have the mercy, pity or empathy and atleast leave me a shred of dignity in your eyes for I am not all that mentally ruined. Just, a little bit.
-End-
P.S I apologise if some - or all- of what I said doesn't make much sense. However, rather than immature or unorganized, I would prefer my writing to be deemed 'eccentric'. ( *I jest.)
I used to think I had the ugliest nose on Earth. It was huge and potato- like, with large pores and it always seems to stand out whenever I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror in public.
My lips, I thought, were horridly baby-like, and dark. My skin, dark and dry after years of tennis training in the sun. You could find hundreds of bite scars too.
My physique, even with all the tennis training, was weak, I had low stamina and I was bone-skinny. I couldn't run past half a mile without heaving, and my racket swings were far from powerful. Even after years of tennis, I still struggle at fitness.
My hair, was ever a mop of mess. I used to wear it loose at school, it went as far as my chin, never more. I never liked tying it up even though teachers kept pestering me about it because I thought it made me look even more ugly.
My eyes, back then, were hidden behind glasses, and everytime I glance at a mirror in public , my eyes never seem to shine as I thought they do when I'm in my bathroom. And for that, I always avoided public mirrors, so I wouldn't have to see how plain and indifferent I look.
My ass was darker than the rest of my body and so I thought I could never be one of the girls you see in tumblr pictures where they wear bikinis and look sexy in shirts and underwear.
It took awhile but I am now no longer insecure about my nose, my lips, my skin, my hair, my ass. My legs aren't perfect but I like showing them off in skirts and heels. You could call me vain, but I like tying my hair up and still be able to think that I look pretty even with my hair tied up if I were to just feel pretty without or with my hair up. I believe that if you feel pretty, you'll look pretty, nevertheless. I would like to, someday, wear a two piece bikini and feel gorgeous as I do when I wear t-shirt and jeans or skirts and heels too. I have dark elbows, but I'm not going to be insecure about such a little thing when I have lovely brown eyes, and, well, okay boobs, and all my other beautiful features. I suppose I'll gradually find a way to make my elbows prettier due time. My nose isn't all that ugly. I mean, when I look at my face, I see beautiful eyes and smiling lips, I would like to think that a slightly potato nose wouldn't overshadow them. Just because I don't look pretty enough in some photos and in some poses doesn't mean I'm not pretty.
There's still a few other things though, for instance, eye bags. But I suppose I'll handle it due time.
Number 2 -
I wish to set myself straight. I do not value virginity as much as society wishes me to, and I do not feel of less worth because of it.
Number 3 -
I have never been on a date and I secretly so very much would like to.
Though now it's not really much of a secret is it?
Number 4 -
I, again wish to set myself straight. I like heels. Stop masking ( or something ) it with a stereotype. My heels aren't uncomfortable. I can walk for hours in them and feel the same pain I feel if I were to have walked with sneakers on. Of course, I wouldn't wear them to go shopping at Vietnam with my aunt, but I do wear them on short trips to go buy food or drive thru Mcdonalds because I can just slip them on compared to my pretty tennis shoes because I don't have decent sandals. My RM25 sandals are effing uncomfortable and I feel horridly ugly in them. ( Take note that uncomfortable and ugly are different things and I don't say that my heels are comfortable just because they're sexy. They're actually comfortable, as far as shoes go. ) ( Also take note that I say my heels because, well, my sister's heels were less comfortable when I tried them.) Also, I know I need to buy some Ipanemas ( read : comfortable and pretty sandals ) but they cost RM60 and, well, money.
( Admittedly, I spend a lot of money on food and paper )
Also, I don't get why age matters in the wearing of heels. I'm 16 and I wear heels because I like to. You could be 27 and not like to wear heels and I wouldn't give a damn.
Number 5 -
I criticize and condescend by nature and I know that it's bad. I don't think I'll be changing that aspect of myself though, however, I will try to apply restraint and not hurt people's feelings to deeply and perhaps try to keep my horrid thoughts to myself.
Number 6 -
I am emotionally unstable and may go raving on emo ( for lack of proper vocabulary, an imcompetent fault on my side ) phrases and go all dark, and, well, weird like. I am sorry if that degrades me of value in your opinion, but, frankly, I don't know what to do about it. I just hope it doesn't completely degrade me and that you may have the mercy, pity or empathy and atleast leave me a shred of dignity in your eyes for I am not all that mentally ruined. Just, a little bit.
-End-
P.S I apologise if some - or all- of what I said doesn't make much sense. However, rather than immature or unorganized, I would prefer my writing to be deemed 'eccentric'. ( *I jest.)
Posts
1 comments:
nose looks fine.
Post a Comment
Make my day.