Okay so here's what happened.
Lousy Part
I was 5.50 a.m. My mum came in and sat herself on the couch. I told her I needed to sleep more, I can't wake up this early because I slept at almost 3. I told her I've made plans today, a schedule if you will, to make up for yesterday. If I wake up this early, I'll sleep later in the afternoon. She replied with a 'hmph' and continued to use her threatening voice to make me get up and clear the other bed. ( The other bed is where my brother used to sleep, he now sleeps on the floor mattress because he said that the other bed is hot - the air conditioner doesn't reach the other bed well while the floor mattress is situated perfectly in front of the air conditioner. My mum remains with her assumption that I was keeping my brother from coming home. )
Starting Part
I got up, cleared the bed. I went downstairs. She asked 'Where are you going?' with the sharp tone. I told her, 'I'm going to eat'. A lie, I was thinking of taking a walk. She asked me to take the mugs down. Forgive me for not noticing them while I was semi-conscious. I sent them down, I made sure to have brought my phone and earphones. I hesitated, then I opened the door, slipped on my cat-smelling tennis shoes and started walking towards the gate and onwards. It was still very dark.
Scared Part
I went right, after 200 metres, I turned back. I was afraid she would see me from the room. I walked on to the left side, I sat down near the drains in the orange spotlight. I listened to Radiohead, and next and next. A car passed by, driven by a chinese woman. I was thinkin', what if she goes out to find me? Should I go back? What will I say? It was 6.15 a.m. I started conjuring up excuses in my head. Finally, I decided on ' I wanted to take a walk and see the sunrise'.
I walked on to the right side, and I went on. As I walked near the walls and bushes, I kept thinking 'what if someone kidnapped me? I imagined men in black climbing the walls and grabbing me, I imagine myself unsuccessfully fleeing. I countered my gruesome thoughts by thinking ' Oh c'mon, this particular Saturday? The men in black coming on this particular Saturday? You watch too much TV '. I then remembered my dad, still sleeping in his own room. I sent him a message 'went for a walk to see sunrise'. I contemplated whether to put in 'mum woke me up at 5.50'. I didn't. I went on.
Okay Part
I went on. I was walking near the playground-turned-boys'footballfield which stood on a plateaued hill. It's still weird to me how people could play football properly in such a small space. I went on to the garden near beside the field and beside the housing office. Years ago, they kept two dogs there sometimes. I'm not sure what for, but they were scary-looking dogs. The black ones that were often captain of the evil team in movies.With brown bellies, I think. I nervously went on, part of my mind trying to persuade the other that there weren't any dogs and you should stop being silly. I went on.
Purposeful Part
I turned right, headed towards the park I usually go. There are 3 parks in my housing estate, if you don't count the field. This park was the smallest and smelliest-there's a smelly lake beside it, I've no idea what water it contained- but I like this park. I sang on the swings waiting for the sunrise.
It went from dark blue, to a purple-ish blue, to a lighter blue in 20 minutes. I kept singing along to my phone. Now And Then by Adele, got me thinking about someone very hard to forget. I should though, he's a waste of time and it was good while it lasted.
My realisation - don't take things too seriously. My heart falls and breaks like humpty dumpty, but it's human and it's strong. If I didn't get the wake-up call that I did, I wouldn't know that hearts break and you've got to take good care of them. But however broken they are, you're the one who decides what to do with it. Leave it broken in dust, never used again, or fix it and keep trying?
Dammit Not Again Part
As I spent 40 minutes watching the sky transitioning from dark-blue to light blue with not much of a tinge of orange or yellow, I started to think that maybe the sun doesn't rise here. Just the same problem as when I wanted to see the sunset at the beach on my birthday. ( We ended up trying to chase the sun through town by car. ) So I got up and went on.
Lovely Part
When I left the park, I felt somewhat happy. I'm glad I took the walk, glad I took the risk of getting kidnapped in a housing estate with security. I chased the yellow light.
I noticed few lovely houses and some less. There was a lovely dark green house with lots of plants, felt almost like a jungle. I said good morning to a lady sweeping the front of her lovely green house. I walked on and saw a black and white house. I wasn't in it's favor. I walked on to the biggest park, got to the swings and left after 2 minutes after I was invaded by mosquitoes and bugs. I went on. Onwards. Onwards back home.
7.40 a.m
Lousy Part
I was 5.50 a.m. My mum came in and sat herself on the couch. I told her I needed to sleep more, I can't wake up this early because I slept at almost 3. I told her I've made plans today, a schedule if you will, to make up for yesterday. If I wake up this early, I'll sleep later in the afternoon. She replied with a 'hmph' and continued to use her threatening voice to make me get up and clear the other bed. ( The other bed is where my brother used to sleep, he now sleeps on the floor mattress because he said that the other bed is hot - the air conditioner doesn't reach the other bed well while the floor mattress is situated perfectly in front of the air conditioner. My mum remains with her assumption that I was keeping my brother from coming home. )
Starting Part
I got up, cleared the bed. I went downstairs. She asked 'Where are you going?' with the sharp tone. I told her, 'I'm going to eat'. A lie, I was thinking of taking a walk. She asked me to take the mugs down. Forgive me for not noticing them while I was semi-conscious. I sent them down, I made sure to have brought my phone and earphones. I hesitated, then I opened the door, slipped on my cat-smelling tennis shoes and started walking towards the gate and onwards. It was still very dark.
Scared Part
I went right, after 200 metres, I turned back. I was afraid she would see me from the room. I walked on to the left side, I sat down near the drains in the orange spotlight. I listened to Radiohead, and next and next. A car passed by, driven by a chinese woman. I was thinkin', what if she goes out to find me? Should I go back? What will I say? It was 6.15 a.m. I started conjuring up excuses in my head. Finally, I decided on ' I wanted to take a walk and see the sunrise'.
I walked on to the right side, and I went on. As I walked near the walls and bushes, I kept thinking 'what if someone kidnapped me? I imagined men in black climbing the walls and grabbing me, I imagine myself unsuccessfully fleeing. I countered my gruesome thoughts by thinking ' Oh c'mon, this particular Saturday? The men in black coming on this particular Saturday? You watch too much TV '. I then remembered my dad, still sleeping in his own room. I sent him a message 'went for a walk to see sunrise'. I contemplated whether to put in 'mum woke me up at 5.50'. I didn't. I went on.
Okay Part
I went on. I was walking near the playground-turned-boys'footballfield which stood on a plateaued hill. It's still weird to me how people could play football properly in such a small space. I went on to the garden near beside the field and beside the housing office. Years ago, they kept two dogs there sometimes. I'm not sure what for, but they were scary-looking dogs. The black ones that were often captain of the evil team in movies.With brown bellies, I think. I nervously went on, part of my mind trying to persuade the other that there weren't any dogs and you should stop being silly. I went on.
Purposeful Part
I turned right, headed towards the park I usually go. There are 3 parks in my housing estate, if you don't count the field. This park was the smallest and smelliest-there's a smelly lake beside it, I've no idea what water it contained- but I like this park. I sang on the swings waiting for the sunrise.
It went from dark blue, to a purple-ish blue, to a lighter blue in 20 minutes. I kept singing along to my phone. Now And Then by Adele, got me thinking about someone very hard to forget. I should though, he's a waste of time and it was good while it lasted.
My realisation - don't take things too seriously. My heart falls and breaks like humpty dumpty, but it's human and it's strong. If I didn't get the wake-up call that I did, I wouldn't know that hearts break and you've got to take good care of them. But however broken they are, you're the one who decides what to do with it. Leave it broken in dust, never used again, or fix it and keep trying?
Sometimes the hole you left hurts my heart so bad
It cuts through the deepest part of me
Dammit Not Again Part
As I spent 40 minutes watching the sky transitioning from dark-blue to light blue with not much of a tinge of orange or yellow, I started to think that maybe the sun doesn't rise here. Just the same problem as when I wanted to see the sunset at the beach on my birthday. ( We ended up trying to chase the sun through town by car. ) So I got up and went on.
Lovely Part
When I left the park, I felt somewhat happy. I'm glad I took the walk, glad I took the risk of getting kidnapped in a housing estate with security. I chased the yellow light.
I noticed few lovely houses and some less. There was a lovely dark green house with lots of plants, felt almost like a jungle. I said good morning to a lady sweeping the front of her lovely green house. I walked on and saw a black and white house. I wasn't in it's favor. I walked on to the biggest park, got to the swings and left after 2 minutes after I was invaded by mosquitoes and bugs. I went on. Onwards. Onwards back home.
7.40 a.m
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