first canvas nerves

I'm scared. I'm terrified. 


I just ripped open the plastic sheet covering my first canvas. My mum gave it to me a few years ago. I've never opened it, I feared it'd get ruined somehow. Back then, I didn't paint. 


This is a lovely deal, RM38 for a 30-40 stretched canvas, 12 acrylic paint, a wood thing and wood wedgies I've no idea what for, and 3 nylon brushes. I've ignored it for the first couple of years. A few months ago when I moved in to my brother's room, I brought the canvas set with me. Still it laid idle, still wrapped in plastic  sheeting, near the dusty ol' bookcase we seldom touch due to suspicions of creepy crawlies. 


The thought came across me 2-3 months back that maybe I could finally paint on it. What ifs flooded my mind since. What if I ruin it? What if it turns ugly? What if it isn't significant at all? I've got one chance. Buying another one would cost me RM40. I'm only a beginner in watercolor, I still suck at it. At this stage, I can't paint on canvas. Not yet, anyways. Besides, what am I going to paint anyways? Yes, that is quite a problem. I don't know what to paint.


Well anyways, here is my vague guideline of the journey to paint my first canvas. 


1. Try out the acrylic paints, on paper perhaps.
2. Keep painting watercolors, keep improving. Get better paper for starters.
3. Sketch a bit, get inspired, ladida ladidooo.
4. Suck it up and just paint. If all goes wrong, try to see the beauty in it or call it abstract.


I probably won't be painting on the canvas soon I'll just go with the flow and when the mood strikes I'll take it on. It's a 'no rush' thing. It's going to be beautiful. ( The process, I'm not sure about the final destination... )